Outweigh your Negatives

For a lot of people it is far easier to see the negatives in a situation than the positives (especially if its a rotten situation)  Seeing negatives in itself isn’t really much of a problem unless of course, that’s all you see.

Negative thought patterns quickly become habit and those habits start to take over. Have you ever thought about doing something and then decided it would be bad, or you wouldn’t be able to do it anyway? Did you then go on to do it? Of course not!

That there is a negative thought process controlling your actions!

But how do we stop?

By building new and better thought processes. One exercise I often suggest to clients is to ‘outweigh your negatives’.

It’s important to appreciate the negatives as long as they aren’t calling the shots. Listen to those negative thoughts and rationalise them. Are they keeping you safe or stopping you doing something not so great? After all, it might be a really bad idea to try firewalking while drunk in your garden anyway! 🙂

How do you begin? Quite simply you find 2 positives for every negative.

Take thinking about an advertised job promotion for example. A negative person would say to themselves “I’m not good enough to get that job so I wont apply”.

Rationally, that may or may not be accurate, but if you add to that 2 positives such as;

  1. Someone hired me to do this job, at which I am capable and talented.
  2. Now I’ve read the job description I can see that I do have the relevant experience and qualifications to apply and stand as good a chance as anyone else of getting it.

Now that looks a lot better!! You have not only considered the negative, you have rationalised it and found 2 positives that are reality based, factual and can motivate you past the initial thought.

Do you still feel like not applying for that job? Go for it!

It takes around 66 days to build a new habit so if you can go a little over 2 months outweighing your negatives and thinking rationally about what your negative brain is telling you, you could have a fantastic new habit for life!

 

Let me know how it goes for you!

Lisa 🙂

Look Back to Look Forward

 

When we are moving forward in life, especially looking to make a change, we tend to hear a lot of ‘don’t look back’ or ‘only look forward’.

I personally don’t agree. I think the past has a lot to teach us.

One of the most important things to mention is that Life Coaching is not counselling or therapy. We don’t look at the past to ruminate on it or focus on overcoming feelings attached to past events. It is important to note that if past events are stopping you moving forward, it may be beneficial to seek the services of a therapist or counsellor to tackle these issues.

In coaching it is important not to discard the past but to use it to help us springboard into our new path.

I always advise clients to reflect on the past, not in a negative way, or to think about the difficulties associated with past events. I ask them to remember what worked for them before in a similar situation. What happened the last time they got a job promotion? What was going on for them that is different to now when they entered into a relationship?

It is also important to think about what didn’t work last time and why. What stopped you from moving out of home at that time? What led you to decide no to take that job offer? When you decided something, what was it about that situation that didn’t work last time?

Lastly, how can you improve on your previous experiences, good or bad. There may have been a decision you made that you regret or didn’t turn out the way you wanted, but it may be a positive move for you now in life. It may also be just as important to figure out how you can stop yourself returning to that cycle (with the help of a coach perhaps 😉 )

I hope this can help you think about looking back to look forward in a new light.

 

Let me know what you think in the comments 🙂

 

Lisa